My own acts of disappearance can be demonstrated in the following movements:
To build a cathedral
Cyanotype Chemical
I make the walls by sun-printing acid soaked landscapes on 100 white bedsheets
And hanging them up so the wind makes them move and
I hold my breath, until I feel something in my blood
(Bloodtingle, bloodgurgle, bloodpounce, bloodkiss, bloodvex)
Needle and thread
Writing an encyclopaedia for the sacred
I sew to a cathedral’s cranium
desires for things un-disappearing
I anchor them, my baby tongue,
sprite myths, pirate legends
specular temporary tattoos
(Fleshy happy dolphins, fairies freshly flesh and hearts with flesh wings)
Fixtures
Hands varnish themselves, leaking musk oil so I hold them over brass bowls
test recipes for holy elderberry candles, for a vessel of biblical lava
Maybe they could twist fires and their grappling limbs into gods
test incantations tease the air I try to belly breathe, the gravity I try to walk with
I walk on oiled hands
Carcasses
I witness the carrions
I’ve been forcing
toy earths (plastic globes), dream earths (utopias), uncertain earths (modular machines)
into a sanctum that only crumbles into pre made mix
lavishly dissolving vomit-pink putty on this earth that was never mine to build on
(Bubblyacidquicksandscape)
They say earth bruises into gardens over and over
Earths on earths on earths on cities on earths on castles on earths
Oven Bake Easy Clay
I mix the carcasses with the clay into tablets, inscribe them as a child
combs sand for the right prayer
my heavy hot chest waits for earth to hold me back
and a godlike hand to catapult my small body (away)
New Womb
A sanctuary for this body always asks her to be reborn
I enter each powderpuff skeleton belly
crawling up to the ribs
try to feel the body’s sun
try to recognise heartbeats, bloodbeats
pretending fragile, mini manifesto
will skin layers of silver react to the sound?
viberate to wake me if I fall asleep?
I accept defeat
the metal coils me a receptor
Scan the body for signs of the mothertongue, the motherhair, the motherbelly, the motherskin, the motherinthechildhoodhome, themotherinthesauce, themother’smother
My cathedrals breathe like sandcastles
Break like hand-drawn lines
of time and blood